I Eym Not Mah Herr (nu-uh!)

I remember being introduced to this song by Nina. It was on MYX channel where in she enumerated her top five favorite songs and this was her number one. Actually, I could not remember the four but this one was unforgettable.

"Good hair means curls and waves
Bad hair means you look like a slave
At the turn of the century
Its time for us to redefine who we be
You can shave it off
Like a South African beauty
Or get in on lock
Like Bob Marley
You can rock it straight
Like Oprah Winfrey
If its not what's on your head
Its what's underneath and say HEY...."

I remember changing hairstyles before because I feel ugly with my hair. My own sister even called me "whammos" because it was the same as Whoopi Goldberg in the Whammos commercial. I was laughed at, teased, discriminated all because I did not look "maayos" or what society called as someone acceptable.

Me and my siblings when we were younger - I know the haairr? 

Yes, I was a bullied girl when I was in elementary. I chased all bullies at lunch time, recess and dismissal. I thought I'll never recover, but eventually I did. Little by little.

I remember crying at night, I remember being angry all the time, I remember being all negative. Well, good thing I was influenced by father to write my own diary. It gave me relief, and also little by little, I saw the other side of the world and figured it wasn't the biggest problem in the world. I can still eat, I can still sleep comfortably in my own bed, I have my parents who provide, whereas at the other side of the world there are people who are more miserable than me.

Good thing, I was blessed with the right company. I was given the right sets of friends. I've been around people who does not care about looks, whom I could just laugh out loud without caring if i have food in between teeth or if saliva comes out. After college graduation, I felt free, I felt free from superficial expectations. It did not matter to me whether people bash me because of how I looked.

It's better to feel free from expectations. You can move, you can go around, and just be yourself without caring about anyone. You feel that you love yourself so much that you are just letting yourself be you, no restrictions, no reservations.

This year, I forgot about these, about all that I've learned. A shake in my soul this is, and it gave me something new to learn. You do NOT blame other people for what you feel. You can always choose how you feel. If you feel that they are burdensome (they ruin your day, they make you angry for some reason, etc), you can choose to just let them go and get them out of your life. No need to pleasieweesie them.

It's a priority that we should be okay. Our hearts and sanity should always be intact, because we need to function for something else - like our jobs, our other relationships, our extra curricular activities, etc. Our whole darn world should not stop because of that one obstacle.

I feel free again for the second time, after letting go of some burden. I feel like stronger again, I feel safe in my own skin. I feel like singing this song again. Yeah, I am not my hair (nu-uh).

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