Behind every strong woman

I've watched two movies recently, The Iron Lady and The Lady. Both movies show the lives of two known great women of the world, Margaret Thatcher and Aang San Suu Kyi.







I admit, I only known these two from history. I did not know what was their story. I loved both movies, it was inspiring and I noticed that both women had also something in common, a strong husband by their side.

In both movies, Margaret's husband, Denis and Suu Kyi's British husband, Michael Aris, were both firm supporters of their wives' political ambitions and beliefs. Even if both women are stubborn both men were always there to love their wives.







I love this idea - that even if both considered as someone strong, someone from their backs is there to make them stronger. Their husbands never left their side even on their last breath - yes, unfortunately as we all know they're both dead.

If ever I decide to marry, I wish to have someone like Denis or Michael and be a stronger woman for the world to see and feel.

I know, a bit ambitious, but we're all free to wish right? ;-)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Oz's Girls

I recently watched Oz just this Thursday. It just got my head spinning because this isn't your normal wizard of Oz story. Of course, if you watched the movie, it was about the Wizard of Oz how he became the "great and powerful" by saving the entire kingdom from the black witch and her sister, the wicked witch of the west.

Well, I am writing this post not because of the entire movie, let me focus on the two faces of the girls around Oz's life. There's the wicked witch of the west, or Theodora as played by Mila Kunis and Glenda/Annie, Oz's love of his life as portrayed by Michelle Williams. Just so you know, James Blanco plays the main character, Oz.

Theodora, Oz and Glenda

Theodora was the first witch Oz met at Oz (yes, Oz was also the name of the place). She told him about the prophecy and she was kind to him. Oz being a playboy, made Theodora fall in love with him by using his old tricks on the other ladies he met. Theodora fell instantly on Oz's tricks. She knew he wasn't serious about his commitment when Oz left Emerald city and found Glinda whom he fell in love with. Heartbroken, she asked her sister to take away the pain and ate an apple that made her the evil and stone-hearted thus coined the wicked witch of the west. 

How Theodora looked like after eating the apple - yes, wicked witch of the west she became

Then there's Annie/Glinda, Annie was Oz's old flame. He couldn't keep her in his life because of the complications he may bring to her life. Annie always believed that there is goodness in Oz that Oz did not believe he had. Glinda, was the good witch he met at Oz, who looked like Annie. Glinda knew Oz's tendencies but still believed that he is the wizard that the prophecies dictate. She also believed in Oz's goodness as well. In the end, they ended up together and Oz (the place) became peaceful. 

Pretty Glinda

So why these two characters? It is because I see myself (feelingerang palaka hello?) on these two. When I fell in love, I was Glinda, I believed in the goodness of the person I fell in love with. I knew he was up to no good but hello me still believing that he's not that. I supported him and even if it's out of my way, I'd go to him in a jiffy if he asked me to. Well, it's just me, in love. 

I guess right now, I am the wicked witch of the west. But hey I am not as bitter as she is. Maybe before, I cried all the time, I could not believe this was happening to me, blah blah blah.. (You know the lines don't you?). But like the wicked witch, love has changed me. I became this person who just accepts. I guess it wasn't an ugly transformation though. All I can see now are the good things it has brought to me. I just hate the feeling though, like how Theodora cries and tears scars her face, it hurts. Big time. It's just enough not to make me fall in love again. 

Oh well, this is just me now. Maybe someday, I could be Glinda again but this time the real Oz will finally reciprocate the love I have. Some day it'll be eh? 

Silver Lining

I watched The Silver Lining Playbook just yesterday. This is out of boredom, I am kinda getting the blues again so I went to the theatre myself and got me some ticket to the next available film.

According to the Princeton site (source: http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwnol), silver lining means a consoling aspect of a difficult situation; "every cloud has a silver lining"; "look on the bright side of it". And pretty much, I think the movie is about the protagonist's dilemma - dilemma of looking on the bright side.

I've been watching movies lately and this, by far, captured my heart. I can relate to the protagonist - literally. His bipolarity (which is far worse than mine, I think), his will to be fit, looking at the wrong side/person to love, his love for his mom and dad etc.

Like Pat, I have always seen the other side of things in order for me not to be hurt and in order for me not to hurt others as well and like the whole gist of the movie, I have realized that the love that I want is somewhere I can be just crazy me and with someone whose craziness is something I can bear and accept. I just have to accept the signs.

What signs? As the movie dictates, Pat already has the signs that Tiffany has been the "one" all along but still refuses to accept and still seeks out his ex-wife Nikki who had an affair while they were still married. I think I already have the signs, I just don't know how to catch up with it. Will I go for it? or just move away with it? I think that has been my dilemma as of now. As of now the signs are leaning me to choose towards the latter, and I think it's the better option, but we'll see...

I'll be ending this by sharing my favorite line from the movie, I swear I cried at the cinema after hearing this from Pat. Hope you have a good day everyone!

“The only way to beat my crazy was by doing something even crazier. Thank you. I love you. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up.” 
― Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook

Shady

Another friend of mine just got married, it's not that I am envious or something. I'm happy for her and I really wanted to it's just that she got married at Davao and given my schedule I can never make it. So, I've thought now of meself why I have this feeling of uncertainty.

Why uncertain? You see, I think it's a given fact that we are all raised to believe that happy endings should be you getting married with the love of your life and live happily ever after. Now that I've grown up, I begin to question, why do I feel it is wrong to think that way? Am I on the outs by not thinking "whooops! No prince charming, no fuck*n happily ever after" ?

When you're someone who's not thinking the same way, you question yourself, why aren't I looking for what most people would look for? Am I nuts? (Yeah, I really got some loose screws on the sides.. Lol). What happened to me during the whole growing/maturity process?

I always wonder why people make their lives complicated by looking for something that is impossible. Yes, with mu current condition, it is impossible for me to be found by Mr Prince Charming. Impossible, because as I've explained before I am not the type of girl that most guys would go for. I am usually the girl guys make as their bestfriends. Their girl bff or gay friends fag hag. Read: Not-damsel-in-distress-wanting-to-be-saved.

If you put that to statistics, chances of me getting a boyfie is close to zero. Given that situation, one would resort to putting things into their own hands. In summary, princess goes out to look for prince charming. Well, I think other guys would see this as something sweet, I do too. But, it's not just my thing. Given my current statistics (as I have mentioned earlier) in having and being in a relationship, I think I'd rather go where it is more possible for me to succeed. Like, hobbies, etc. Read: Not-wasting-time-in-something-impossible.

I don't know if it's because I'm young that I am saying all of these or what. But, I admit in a way, I am also bothered. Who wouldn't be wondering? At my age, my mom already had her third child and my friends are getting married and people are starting to ask and I'm going to be thirty this year and a loooot of aaaands that will never end. It's annoying really. It's hard to tell and explain to people everything I have written here. They wouldn't understand, they are already stuck with this fact that everyone should have the same happy ending.

I already half resigned to that fact and changed perspective. What if I can also be happy with my own type of happy ending? Not the fairy tale type but, my own unique ending. One that doesn't involve princes or boys but one that involves someone else like... Dogs! Or other things.

I just hope when I grow old and still like this, I can accept more. I hope I can be more matured, more forgiving but less gullible. I want to be at peace with whatever comes and happens and grow old and be okay. No regrets.

I think, I've written something like this before but it's annoying how sometimes it gets to me. And when it does, i'll write again to remind myself of this and recheck my feelings whether I'm still okay with myself, and I hope and pray, I will always be.

Good night everyone.

Oh hello March

For the first time, I did not file any leave for the first quarter of the year. There's so many things that need to be done in the office and I only got 8 hrs everyday to get everything done, and I am not doing well.

Since the transfer, I've been struggling 8hrs everyday. Sometimes less than 8 because I'm always late (I arrive at least before 830am) but I make most of it mind you. I've been multitasking like crazy, juggling in between tasks and then maintaining my sanity by having friends nearby to talk to me (thru chat). After work, I run and do aikido sessions (mon and thurs for aikido then in between will be the runs depends on the weather and my condition). I go home at night, earliest would be 7pm (when I don't do any exercise) and 1245am (when I meet friends after work).

Given this crazy schedule, sleep should always come easy. But it ain't! It ain't. I get to sleep for about 3hrs then wake up in the wee hours of the day for no reason at all. I don't like it, I wake up in the morning thinking what the hell happened? I didn't even feel refreshed, I felt robbed with sleep. I need my deep sleep, where I wake up with saliva on my pillow, my head heavy and mind nostalgic with a dream I've had.

I've reduced my exercise lately because I always feel lightheaded. I want this to end soon. I feel that this is psychological, probably this is stress from work that is being carried at home. My head or mind keeps moving, even at weekend I do chores like crazy. I do one task then do something along with it, i just can't seem to stop moving.

I didn't even feel March coming in. It just went by so fast. It's like January and then whooosh it's March already. I want to take a leave soon or just go to the beach and see and smell the sea (decent not the Manila bay type). I think I need some time off. I wish I'd be better soon, I wanna function properly for everything I am doing and the things I am planning to do.

Oh Lord let me be better. Good night everyone.